Google+ we need to talk…

Google+, I think we need to talk about us.

I like you. I like you a lot. In a lot of ways,  I feel more comfortable with you than almost any other social network I’ve been with.

MySpace was so immature and always overcompensating with her ridiculously over the top profile designs, and her that trawling for picture comments was pretty desperate.

Facebook gets on really well with all my friends but she’s too controlling and too possessive – she keeps changing the terms and conditions of our relationship without telling me and I think by now she holds copyright on my face.

Twitter’s really fun, and she’s always got her finger on the pulse but she’s too extreme – everything’s either the best thing ever, or worse than genocide. Plus, I get the feeling she’s a pathological liar, and kind of a racist.

LinkedIn made a pass at me a couple of times, but friends of mine have told me she’s nothing but trouble.

Google+, I feel safe saying whatever I want to you, and that’s not something I’ve really felt with a social network before. If I want, I can swear loads and my girlfriend’s mum won’t see it. I can complain about co-workers and they’ll never know. If I really have to “friend” people I went to school with, I can ignore them so much harder than I ignore them on Facebook.

But this has to be a two way street, and I’m getting nothing from you.

Every so often, you’ll let me know that another of my friends has joined, and sometimes someone will actually say something, but it’s usually about how no-one ever says anything on Google+.

I feel like we’re drifting apart, but I honestly  think we can make it work, Google+.
I’m really glad you dropped that invite-only policy – that was anti-social, and it was definitely holding you back, so this is a really great step forward for you. Maybe now you can loosen up and be yourself.

Hopefully now more of my friends will be able to engage with you properly, but part of me worries it’s too little too late.
Google+, we’re drifting apart but I think we can make this work. You try and make more of an effort with my friends and I’ll try and spend more time with you, and hopefully we’ll get through this.

But this really is your last chance.

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